I have this friend, Matt, whom I knew from work. Our relationship went on fine except the fact that very often, Matt will flare up at me for no good reasons and start ignoring me for a few days/weeks. Initially, I’ll be angry and think to myself, “what right does he have to throw tantrums at us when we don’t even know what’s going on??” There was once I asked my friend, Alex, “If I really want to be Matt’s friend, I should tell him what is his problem, shouldn't I?” Alex advised me not to get upset over what Matt says or does, as that will create more negativity and that I may be interfering with Matt’s spiritual growth if I tell him what he should be doing. It’s perhaps a lesson that he needs to learn this lifetime. So, I left it as it is and tried to ignore Matt’s nonsense as much as I can. Well, I still do get irritated sometimes, but I tried to ignore my feelings

A couple of months passed and we got along well. Matt did not throw tantrums as often now. Then one day, the same situation repeated itself and I was scolded for an advice that he’d asked for! That had hit the limit to my tolerance. I immediately ended the conversation and ignored him, until he initiated a conversation with me two weeks later. I then started thinking to myself, “If I ever want to remain friends with Matt, I HAVE TO tell him what we all don’t like about him.” But I find it hard to tell him that, and so it dragged on for some time while I remained as friends with him superficially.

One day, he called me, as he needed someone to talk to. As usual, he threw tantrums at his parents and they had a quarrel that evening. During dinner with him, suddenly some thoughts came to my mind.

1. Perhaps, he really needs to grow out of this behaviour himself. We all have life lessons to learn. Perhaps I might be really interfering with his spiritual growth and depriving him of a chance to learn what he should learn this lifetime.

2. Or is this actually my lesson? Maybe I have to learn how to handle such situations and learn how not to react negatively towards them.

3. Come to think of it, these situations resemble my interactions with my parents sometimes! Perhaps I’m looking at a reflection of myself through Matt?

Since that night, I’ve made a decision that I will not tell him what I used to hate about him. He will figure this out by himself one day. Honestly, I do not know if that is the correct way to handle this, but I think that’s the best I can do. Perhaps we had planned to learn this lesson together this lifetime? *smile*

Sinue

About the Columnist

Sinue loves hanging around with young children and readily plays the role of a "counselor" for her friends at all times. Sinue also practises Reiki, has an interest with using crystals for their healing purposes and reads angel oracle cards as a pastime.