Many years ago my great grandfather told me of the persecution he experienced in Russia which led him to come to this country. He said the Cossacks would pursue him at night, when he was out teaching, and slash him with their sabers. One night he was on the hill above his village with his rabbi, the Baal Shem Tov. As they looked down they could see the Cossacks riding down and killing their Jewish brethren. They might have felt the same had they seen their loved ones being taken away to become slaves in a foreign land.

My great grandfather heard the rabbi say, "I wish I were God."

He asked, "Do you want to be God so you can change the bad into the good?"

"No, I wouldn't change anything. I want to be God so I can understand."

Remember our present problems are not new to mankind. Ninety percent of the natives of South America died when the explorers brought infectious diseases to their continent that they had no immunity to and forty per cent of Europeans died during plagues of the past. Man-made wars and holocausts have taken millions of lives and with today's destructive weapons we are more of a threat to each other than are infectious diseases, which we can learn to resist. The question is not, will there be difficulties and threats to our existence, but how will we deal with them and what can we learn from them. How can they become blessings to society, as a life threatening disease is to an individual, by teaching us about the meaning of our life and existence?

When I was a young boy, several of my friends became seriously ill and one was hit by a car while bicycling to my house. When they all died, I asked my father, "Why did God make a world where terrible things happen? Why didn't God make a world free of diseases, accidents and problems?"

He said, "To learn lessons." I didn't like that answer and asked my rabbi, teacher and others. They said things like, "God knows, Why not?, Who knows?, That's life, To bring you closer to God." Some were honest enough to just say, "I don't know." This didn't leave me feeling satisfied or enlightened. When I told my mother what they said she answered, "Nature contains the wisdom you seek. Perhaps a walk in the woods would help you to find out why. Go and ask the old lady on the hill that some call a witch. She is wise in the ways of the world."

As I walked up the hill I saw a holly tree had fallen onto the path. As I tried to pull it aside the sharp leaves cut my hands. So I put on gloves and was able to move it and clear the path. A little further along the path I heard a noise in the bushes and saw a duck caught in the plastic from a six pack. I went over and freed the duck and watched him fly off. None of this seemed enlightening.

Further up the hill I saw five boys lying in a tangled heap in the snow. I asked them if they were playing a game and warned them the cold weather could lead to frostbite if they didn't move. They said they were not playing but were so tangled they didn't know which part belonged to whom and were afraid they'd break something if they moved. I removed one of the boy's shoes, took a stick and jabbed it into his foot.

He yelled, "Ow."

I said, "That's your foot now move it." I continued to jab until all the boys were separated but still no enlightenment.

As I reached the top of the hill I saw, in front of the old woman's cabin, a deer sprawled on the ice of a frozen pond . She kept slipping and sliding and couldn't stand up. I went out, calmed her and then helped her off the ice by holding her up and guiding her to the shore. I expected her to run away but instead of running away she and several other deer followed me to the house. I wasn't sure why they were following me so I ran towards the house. When I reached the porch and felt safe I turned and the deer and I looked into each others eyes before I went into the house.

I told the woman why I had come and she said, "I have been watching you walk up the hill and I think you have your answer."

"What answer?"